When to shut down your emotions
Being too emotional leads to the worst type of chaos — chaos that could’ve been avoided.
Human beings are emotional creatures. Most people want to feel a certain way — such as confident, understanding, or angry — before making a decision. But being too emotional leads to the worst type of chaos — chaos that could’ve been avoided.
Because people are often too embarrassed, ignorant, or obtuse to understand how their emotions are causing a problem, they will use more emotions to hide the root of the situation.
Or worse, reframe the situation to make it not seem like a problem at all.
This type of behavior leads to a whack-a-mole situation when problems are created faster than they can be solved. Emotions become a virus. The emotions of one person affect those around them.
I’m not suggesting to be coldhearted. There’s a time and place for emotions — such as when spending quality time with family and friends, enjoying art, or expressing your creativity.
There’s also a time and place to turn emotions off and think with practicality.
Practical problem solving
When confronted with a problem, there are two ways to respond:
Think about why the problem exists. Who caused it? Who or what is to blame? How can I remove myself from the problem?
This type of response is emotional. It doesn’t address the problem directly — it attempts to create more emotion than necessary.
A second response is more practical:
How can I solve the problem?
This simple and direct method is best.
Imagine waking up at 3am and seeing your kitchen on fire. Will you response be to hold a family meeting and find out who is responsible — or — evacuate your family and put out the fire?
Once the problem is solved you can address the cause. Solving the problem should be the priority. The most-direct way to solve a problem is to do so without emotion. Unfortunately for most people — including myself — this can difficult.
This is something I can become better at. When faced with a problem in my life I intend to focus on solving it, instead of letting my own – or someone else’s — emotions make it worse.